To The Parents of Addicts

As the parents or guardians of an alcoholic or drug addict, there is nothing more harrowing then watching your son or daughter slowly kill themselves with drugs or alcohol; to not know when you will receive that phone call with the voice on the other end telling you that your child has been arrested, or been involved in a car accident, or died of a drug overdose. Almost as bad is the thought that your child may limp along their entire life with untreated alcoholism or drug addiction

There are a lot of factors that go into a person getting sober and staying sober, and as hard as it might be to accept, a lot of things when it comes to your children’s addiction may be out of your hands. What is important to remember as parents are the things that you can contribute to aid in your son or daughter’s road to recovery.

For a parent, there comes the time when you have to make the crucial decision about investing in your child’s recovery, while avoiding enabling their addiction. Enabling is a word that a parent may hear often when getting involved in their child’s treatment for alcoholism or drug addiction. In the addiction treatment field, Enabling is defined as a dysfunctional behavior or pattern of behavior, intended to help the addict or alcoholic, while actually helping perpetuate their addiction. Examples of enabling can include: Lying to others about your son and daughter drug-related behavior to save him or her from consequences; providing them with resources that encourage them to keep drinking or using drugs; or routinely rescuing them out of situation they create, directly or indirectly, through their substance abuse.

One of the most difficult parts of being the parent of an alcoholic or an addict is distinguishing when you’re actually providing help and when you’re just enabling. This can be the case when your child is still in the throes of their addiction, as well as when they’re newly sober. People who have relapsed have often cited that getting back all the material things they lost while drinking or drugging too quickly actually contributed to their relapse. An appropriate way of supporting your drug or alcohol-addicted son or daughter is by assisting them in getting professional help. It is important to keep in mind that depending on the severity of your child’s addiction, only seeing an addiction therapist or having them attend an IOP (intensive outpatient treatment) may not be enough. It is better to invest in a full continuum of care, rather than take half-measures and then do damage control after the eventual relapse. Those with the highest success rates of recovery are the addicts and alcoholics who went through the full spectrum of addiction treatment: Detoxification (if their addiction warrants it), then partial hospitalization / inpatient treatment, followed by IOP and a commitment to stay in a halfway house or sober living place. Removing your child from the familiar environment where they drank or used drugs is essential, even if that sometimes means them leaving the proverbial nest.
Keep in mind that no amount of treatment ever cures them of the disease of addiction; an alcoholic or addict can never be taught to drink like a regular human being. If you have a son or daughter who has a problem with substances, but is unwilling to get help, there are measures you can take nonetheless. A trained interventionist can be the difference between your son and daughter agreeing to receive treatment or killing themselves with drugs or alcohol. If you are unsure of how to proceed, contact a professional in the field of addiction treatment, for guidance and assistance.