What do I do after a relapse?

Relapse is an unfortunate reality for most drug addicts. It often takes many attempts to get clean before an addict puts together a few months or years. Even after such intervals, they might still fall off the wagon. Of course, it is hoped that every addicts attains life-long sobriety on his first attempt. Yet, the addict and those close to him must also be realistic about the potential for relapse. This brings about the question, “What do I do after a relapse?”

Fortunately, the journey of recovery does not end with relapse. While regrettable, relapse must be thought of as a temporary detour – a wrong turn in the road. So, when we’re driving down an unfamiliar path and get lost, what do we do? We stop and ask for help. This is precisely what the addict must do after a relapse… but whom does he ask for help?

Hopefully, he has attended some 12-step fellowships. Most of these meetings suggest that a newcomer introduces his or her self. When an addict does this, they acquaint their self with other members of the group. Most meetings will also offer a phone list if the addict desires one. Acquiring phone lists serves a key function in preparing for relapse. If and when an addict relapses, he has dozens of sober contacts that he may call. These are his “sober supports.” Most, if not all, of these people will be happy to help him whichever way they can.

The most important sober support is an addict’s sponsor. A sponsor can be thought of as the addict’s guide through 12-step programs. So, as relapsing is comparable to getting lost, the first person to ask help of is your guide. Sponsors can pick him up from a bar, take him to a meeting, or simply lend a supportive ear. Talking through a relapse with another addict is especially helpful; unlike therapists or family members, fellow addicts have a shared experience. One addict is intuitively more trusting of other addicts because he knows they have walked in his shoes.

It is often helpful to review the circumstances surrounding a relapse. More often than not, addicts relapse because they fall short in their 12-step programs. Many fellowships explain relapse through the following acronym: “Recovery Exits Life And Program Seems Empty.” Uncovering the reasons that underlie a relapse can prevent an addict from relapse in the future. Perhaps he’s dodged a few meetings in the past week or so? Addicts should also stay in regular contact with their sponsor and sober supports; when was the last time he’s seen or called them? It is likewise vital to work the 12 steps, for recovery is a “program of action.” Neglecting this part of recovery is often the prime cause for a relapse.

An addict’s attitude can make a world of difference after a relapse. He must not abandon all hope because of a single mistake. All too often, he gets bogged down in self-pity and thinks, “What’s the point? I already screwed up, so why go back?” This sort of thinking is self-defeating and irrational, though the addict himself may not see it. If he is at his lowest, he has nowhere to go but up! He must keep his eye on the prize: freedom from addiction and a better way of life.