“Keep coming back!”
Ugh. Sometimes those words still make me cringe. Not when it’s said in the context of doing whatever it takes to stay in meetings and recovery. However, sometimes those three words are said way too often, sometimes when someone mentions that they are currently struggling with or as a placeholder for when there is nothing left to say. For example, one time I was in a smaller sized AA meeting. When the younger girl was offering out the monthly marker chips, she said the words following each moment no one picked up a chip:
“30 days? Keep coming back….60 days? Keep coming back…90 days? Keep coming back….”
It sounded forced and disingenuous. While her intentions were likely sincere, it completely turned me off to the entire meeting itself as a whole and I’ve not returned since. But this got me thinking: what other habits take place in recovery rooms that may scare away the newcomer from not only a meeting group but the program altogether? Below is a list that I came up with:
Reciting in unison
Whether it’s the AA preamble, the serenity prayer or the lord’s prayer.. sometimes everyone reciting something together in a circle can sound cult-like. If you’ve ever done this around a dog, they freak out like they are going to be sacrificed.
Touching
You never know someone’s background. I’ve heard about people being scoffed at in meetings for darting out before the Lord’s prayer. But some individuals and newcomers, given their background and history, simply do not like being touched. Rather than judging someone, let’s try and be more understanding..mmmkay?
Fear of rejection / sponsor
You may not be a human being if you don’t not experience some level of fear of rejection. You can genuinely not care what people think but it is not a pleasant feeling to ever feel disliked or said “no” to. I’ve ran into people in meetings before that have a lot of time in the program who have never even had a sponsor because of their fear in putting themselves out there to just ask someone. I’ve found that the longer you wait to do something, the harder it is to finally do it.
Too many war stories
We’re told that we are supposed to share out were like, what happened and what we are like now when it comes to our addiction and recovery. Though sometimes, while explain what we used to be like in our addiction, it feels as though we are trying speak and one up each other on who has the craziest story. I’ve sat in a few of the wrong meetings where the meeting has brought me to the verge of wanting to drink just based on the stories being told and shared in the group. For newcomers, I think sticking around those who don’t glorify the past as the good ol’ days can help keep you focused on the solution.
If you are struggling with discontinuing use of drugs and alcohol, you may have an addiction problem. To find out more information about Addiction, Recovery and Drug Rehabilitation: visit www.DrugTreatmentCenterFinder.com